Exactly a year ago, Facebook reminded me that I was fat, I have a muffin top (bilbil) and quite sad before I started my journey to a beautiful life.
What really motivates me to Lose Weight?
There’s no magic, no pills and no slimming coffee that can do it, but there’s discipline, determination, motivation and a story to tell.
I was bullied, criticized, judged, compared and misunderstood since I was a child. I was always compared to my brothers, cousins, friends and people who are better than me. Have you tried being compared to someone who’s better than you? More beautiful than you? More Intelligent than you? It felt like I’ve been compared to a diamond and I was the ugly stone. My life was a rough road and that’s a another story to tell.
I became a people pleaser because of my childhood, trying to please everyone. Trying to be like this, like that, try to have this, have that, but still I can’t be them, I can’t have it and I’m a still a loser. When I was in High school I tried my best, I joined the peer counselor group and student council. I was trying to prove to my parents, to all the people who bullied me that I can do something, that I am not who they think I am. From being a people pleaser I became very optimistic and I challenge myself every time. I still do dumb things, big mistakes and failed and failed but I keep going, what else can I do?
It is very true that the more you fail the more you try the better you become. Failure to me was like part of my character. If I want something so bad and failed, I don’t care, I don’t care even if people are laughing at me. Instead I try hard, I try harder until I get there, until I have it. Until I have the right to laugh to the people who chuckled at me.
However, I was doing it wrong because I was doing it for everyone. Trying to show them that I can. I was trying to prove something to the people who mess over and assimilated me. I forgot the significant part, the momentous part of doing it for MYSELF. No matter how hard I try it was not enough.
It is true that if you try to please everyone you won’t be genuinely happy. You will continue to seek approval from your peers, parents and friends and no matter what you do, how hard you tried YOU CAN NEVER PLEASE THEM. There’s always missing or lacking from you, they can only see your mistakes, they can only see your weaknesses and what’s worst they won’t help you to become better.
I realized in order to be a better person, to feel free with discriminations, judgements, insecurities the only person you have to please is YOURSELF. NOTHING BUT YOURSELF AND GOD. The moment I accepted my flaws, my past and start loving my self I became the best version of me. I was happier than before. I could not care less of what everyone tells me. I always live with my principle, if you are my friend then be my friend never dismember the trust I invested or we’re done.
The Starter Pack
When I started it was VERY HARD! Oh geez! Really hard!! I was trying to figure out what is really wrong with me? Why I am fat? What can I do to get rid of this muffin top? To have the body that I always dreamed? To be genuinely happy. Not to mention, I was depressed, sad and insecure.
Good thing I have a friend who were there with me, pushed me to see the beauty of the world and for the first time I feel the freshness of the air, noticed the grass were green, the skies were blue, noticed that the sun sets at 8pm. Can you imagine I just realized all those things? Funny it may seem but when you open your eyes, stop and look around life is pretty amazing! It was the little things that made me loved myself more. I have to win myself first, fixed my mindset, loved myself like no one else before.
I was in Alabama when my friends were inviting me to do biking and explore the City. I was in doubt because in the back of my mind it’s tiring anyways and I was sad but then I said yes and guess who loved it? I didn’t expect it was fun! I gained friends and enjoyed the ride. I enjoy the laughter along the road, we were lost but managed to come back. It was an eye opener for me.
The following night I started running, I remember I only run for 15minutes. That was the fastest and most that I can go. I was thirsty and tired and called it first timer. The next morning I can feel that my body was in pain! Fudge Bar!! I was like, why do I have to do running? Then later I found myself running again.. I was close to 30minutes. Not too bad. Then I search instructions on how to do stretching. Thanks to youtube!
It became a habit, If I don’t run it felt like there’s something missing in my daily routine. I run as much as I can and stop and jog , then run again, and jog! Then I repeat. I enjoyed doing it. I wasn’t doing it to be fit, nor to be sexy I was doing it because I enjoyed doing it.
Then I started to enjoy feeding myself with good stuff, doing a lot of exercise, doing sacrifices, I didn’t even recognized that there were results already until my friends were telling me I lose a lot of weight. The moment I love myself, I win the battle already and I don’t have to obliged myself or force myself to eat healthy. It was a pleasure doing it for myself. ONLY FOR MYSELF. So that was the only thing I did and the rest is history.
(TO BE CONTINUED)